Sidekicks
by Dordoff
Summary: Two old friends meet up to talk about the strange turns their lives have taken.


**A** **uthor's note: Takes place within the first seasons of each show, towards the beginning when each character was just starting to learn about the worlds of each story.**

* * *

"Whiskey, on ice." Kenzi told Bobby and the blonde bartender nodded and bent down to the rack to retrieve a bottle.

"Not gonna order one for me?" A male English voice said and Kenzi rolled her eyes and grinned at the speaker.

"Thought you only drink that fruity shit dude." She told Felix as he placed his coat on the seat beside him and perched on the stool next to Kenzi at the bar in the Cameron House.

"Oh please, it's like you don't even know me. Besides, you invited me over for this little date so I think you should buy." He gave her his most charming smile and she scoffed.

"It'd be date if I were getting laid and I ain't your type hun." She pointed out as she lifted her drink up to her lips.

"Come on don't be stingy." He tickled her ribs and she giggled, almost spitting her drink before she swallowed it down.

"Alright, alright! What'll ya have dear?"

"I will take a…" He glanced over at her and she lifted her eyebrow. "Pineapple Malibu." Kenzi laughed.

"Knew it."

"And a shot of vodka."

"Whoa, partying hard there."

"I need something strong after the week I've had."

"Mm. I hear you." She finished her drink and waved to Bobby for another one, ordering her friend's as well.

"Wanna trade stories, compare weird shit?" He said when Bobby handed the two their beverages.

"Your 'weird shit' cannot hold a candle to mine honey." Kenzi replied as she picked up her next drink.

"Oh?" Felix raised an eyebrow lifted up his cocktail to sip it. "Care to wager on that darling?"

"What are we betting?" Kenzi asked and Felix paused for a moment to think.

"Mmm…fifty bucks?"

"That's it?"

"Fifty bucks and a drink." He swirled his glass and Kenzi rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Shopping spree." She said and he knitted his eyebrows together.

"Where?" He asked.

"Winner's choice."

"Fine but I'm on a budget."

"Not in those shoes you're not." She tapped his heeled boot with her own. He looked down at them and smiled.

" _They_ are why I'm on a budget." He shrugged and took another sip of his beverage. "Worth it though."

"Fee, don't call for bets if you can't back it up." Kenzi said as she popped a maraschino cherry in her mouth. He frowned at her and glanced back at his drink, where the little fruit should have been floating.

"Little hustler." He muttered and she giggled. "Alright fine. You first."

"Hmm…you have to guess."

"Wha-how am I supposed to do that?"

"Just throw shit out. You might hit the mark." She shrugged and grinned.

"Clones." He said and she scoffed.

"Of me? I wish dude."

"Don't think the world could handle anymore Mackenzie Malikov." He took another drink and she laughed.

"You're like the male version of me anyway."

"I am not! I've got way better fashion sense."

"Like hell. Where'd you get that scarf, a thrift store?"

"Oh you know, same place you got that rag you call a jacket. A street hooker I take it?"

"You mean yourself?"

"No, I mean your mother."

"How passé."

"Fine. The last boy you nailed. He said you shortchanged him by the way."

"Oh, he tell you that while you were going down on him?"

"Yeah and he said I do it a thousand times better than you. And he thinks you gave him something."

"Nah he got that within the first five minutes of your company. Hope you didn't shortchange him."

"Darling he paid me for that action."

"So you _were_ who I took the jacket from then." She chuckled and he smiled then laughed with her.

"Fine. Not clones then. Uh…mafia?"

"That doesn't rate weird in my life. And you gotta be pretty square if it does for you. Next."

"Government spies."

"Wrong genre. Not spy fiction."

"Cop show?"

"Well there are cops. And a P.I."

"Ooh, I've got coppers too!"

"Yay us." Kenzi snarked and took a drink and Felix raised his glass in agreement.

"So, it's got cops. Uh…mystery then?"

"Little bit of that, sure."

"Thriller? Serial killers?" Kenzi shook her head.

"Horror?" He guessed and she shrugged and held her hand out, tilting it left and right.

"Sorta kinda. Depends what kind."

"Jigsaw-Hostel-Hills-Have-Eyes-torture-porn?"

"Ew, no. Though people eating may be involved."

"Gross! Seriously?"

"Don't think you can top that?" She held her hand out with her palm up and wiggled her fingers.

"I didn't say it was weirder. Cannibalism is totally something that happens. My shit is not."

"Fine. Moving on."

"Alright, horror. What kind of horror? Human centipede horror?" He scrunched his face up in disgust.

"Ugh no. No weird sciencey shit either. Though there is a scientist-"

"I've got a scientist _and_ weird science shit."

"Sci-fi?" Kenzi asked and Felix nodded.

"Is that too bizarre for you love?"

"Not even close. Keep going."

"Romance?"

"A little." Felix raised his eyebrow. "Not enough for me though. Some porn too. Not that I'm getting any of that action either." She muttered and sipped her drink again.

"Just pay another hooker love." Felix chuckled and Kenzi swatted his arm. "Okay, romance and horror…oh, is there action involved?"

"Dude you have no idea. We kick so much ass."

"Oh yeah? We've got a gunslinger. And an assassin." He smirked and Kenzi gave him an impressed grin. "Alright, it's sounding a bit Buffy-like here." He tilted his head at her and she gave him a coy smile while taking another drink from her whiskey. He crossed his brows. "Is it like…fantasy?" He asked and she nodded. His eyes widened.

"Are there-" He looked around to make sure no one overheard them and lowered his voice to a whisper. "Are there vampires?" Kenzi shook her head.

"Way more original dude." She said and he looked at her expectantly. "Ah…can't really dish everything though. Think I said too much already."

"Oh come on!"

"Hey, not my secrets to tell. Though I can say, sexy feeding is involved."

"Okay. So. Mystery-horror-action-romance-cop-drama-"

"Dude, it's me."

"Comedy then." She nodded. "With people eating. That does sound bizarre."

"Does it beat yours?"

"Mmm…I don't know darling. My story's got something yours doesn't."

"Besides sci-fi?" Kenzi asked and Felix nodded. "Well?"

"My first guess." He said and she stared at him. She glanced around in an imitation of Felix's earlier actions to insure their conversation was private.

"Clones?" The little goth whispered incredulously. Felix smirked and nodded. "With an alcoholic soccer mom." Kenzi leaned back, wide-eyed. "Yours?"

"Well I certainly hope my mother isn't-"

"The other thing dude."

"Oh! No. I'm just the-"

"Sidekick?" Kenzi finished and Felix nodded and grinned at her. "Well, what would they be without us?" She lifted her glass and he followed, clinking his together with hers.

"Downright dreary without the most style savvy bitches in town by their side."

"And witty, don't forget witty."

"Well, I can only speak for myself on that." He smirked and she poked his rib with her elbow, causing him to giggle. "Soo…decided who wins the wager?" He questioned and she paused to contemplate it.

"Let's split the fifty and go shopping together."

"That sounds like an excellent coping mechanism." He reached for his shot glass and frowned when his hand couldn't find it. His eyes immediately darted over to the little street hustler and he glared at her as she downed his shot. She slammed the drink on the countertop then slapped a bill down next to it.

"I've got it. Let's go. Where to?" She asked as she headed to the door.

"Where ever you got those boots." Felix answered as he shrugged on his coat and followed after her.


End file.
